sea of time.

dear january,
please come soon.

love.
lindsey.

owl city
"vanilla twilight"

The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere
Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'll send a postcard to you, dear
Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly
The silence isn't so bad
Till I look at my hands and feel sad
Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone
But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist deep in thought because when
I think of you I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone
I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink
I'll think of you tonight
(Tonight, tonight, tonight...)

I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again
And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh if my voice could reach
back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear:
"Oh darling I wish you were here"

birthday.

hey everybody! guess what!
i'm 21!

this year for my BIG 21, hannah and tif planned the ultimate day!
it started with:

gandolfo's for breakfast.

with love from the j.rad voglesberg.

followed by:
making of homemade icecream cake.

chocolate ice cream with mint oreo's. delicious.

followed by:
a picnic in the park.

with two of my most favorite people.

followed by:
snow shack snacks.

and a pinata!

followed by:
BOWLING!


birthdaygrl. if. and han. we dominate the bowling scene.

followed by:
dinner at applebee's.

and birthday dessert!

followed by:
a walk through the cemetery.

to find someone with my same birthday. we found someone!

followed by:
my awesome barbie birthday cake.

made by my crazy talented sister.

followed by:
a surprise birthday party!

planned by my two greatest gems.

thank you for the best 21st birthday in the whole world!
i love you all. to infinity and beyond.

all together now.

well. it seems as if i have been doing a terrible job at keeping everyone (who is interested) up to date with everything that has been going on. that being the case. let me share with all of you a little taste of what august has brought my way.

best day of august! so far.

hannah and i got ice cream from the ice cream man!

i went wakeboarding for the first time! and totally stood up!

we stayed up late, and froze our booties off, but saw the craziest meteor shower!

tara got married! and i caught a small part of the bouquet.

incase you didn't know. i dominate at the pogo.

and also. this is my new niece, makenna. she's two months old and crazy, crazy cute.


august is half way over now. and the second half of the month should be a total party. literally. my birthday is in six days! school starts in eleven. and i even kind of have a job! party over here!

something.

everyone should see this film. it is beautiful.

money (that's what i want).

hello dear friends. it has been nearly a month since i have written on this here blog. i wish that over the past month i had a lot of wonderful adventures that i could share with you. it is true that i have been on some wonderful adventures and have had the time of my life. and it is also true that i am lacking in the adventure category seeing as how i have yet to find employment. it is hard looking for a job everyday. i would be lying if i said that i look everyday, because i don't. but in my dream world, i have a job and it is awesome. until i face reality and realize that i am running out of money. slowly but surely.
but. lets not focus on the fact that i am running out of funds. let me catch you up on things that have been going down the past month. in no particular order:
*i went to delta for the fourth of july. it was a total party, but i will never again make the mistake of going down to watch the parade. it is awesome, but when you have to give all the candy you collect to the little kids you're with, it isn't as fun.
*i traveled down to the upside down ocean town (if you don't know where that is, i'll have to show you) and had a gay ol' time hanging out with my best buckaroo and kristacakes. it was the best weekend i have had since being home. i sure missed those bundles of joy while i was away.
*read "the perks of being a wallflower" and realized that life is beautiful. i really liked that book. it was sad and a little unbearable at times, but i enjoyed it. it made me realize how easy life is for the most part.
*i hung out with my sister a lot. the sister that i am closest to. she is great and has a great heart and i love her a lot, she has just made some decisions that were really hard for me to hear. i understand where she is coming from for the most part, but it made me sad to hear her lose faith. i hope that someday she'll come back to the truth, but she said that she wont and that is what hurt the most. but no matter what, i love her though. and her darling family.
*i went to a bon fire and reconnected with a bunch of old friends from high school. isn't it so great to see people that you haven't seen in so long, and it is almost like no time has passed? i love times like those. party over here.
*i inherited a giant bag of jewels that used to belong to my grandmother. i don't remember my grandma because i was little when she died, but having her jewelry makes me feel like i know her a little bit better. and i know for certain, from the jewels, that she had great style.
*i've seen three stellar firework shows. oh how i love fireworks. it is amazing how happy they make me. i always feel so giddy when i see the fireworks light up the sky. it is a magical thing for me. probably the closest i can get to being a wizard/witch.
*speaking of wizards and witches, i saw "harry potter and the half blood prince" the night before it came out. boom! i have connections. i've also seen it two more times since then. i love it. can you tell?
*i went boating for the first time in a long time. with the singles ward. it is so fun. i love boating. what i wouldn't give to have a boat in my family. that i could use whenever i wanted. my jobless life would be much more exciting.
*i went on a motorcycle ride with my dad over the alpine loop. that is, most definitely, one of my favorite drives in all of utah. it is beautiful. nature, gotta love it.
*on pioneer day hannah and i went crazy and decided to be pioneer, minus the outfits, and churned some butter, baked some homemade bread, and made some fresh strawberry jam (haha. we're really poor). we are such great pioneers and had the best time. no wonder pioneers were such happy people. hehe.
*i received some wonderful letters from the one, mason t. porter. he is in montreal on his mission and having the time of his life. he only has 6 months left and i am about pooing with excitement. i mean, i want him to have the best last 6 months, but i can't wait for him to be home. party!
*lastly i talked in relief society about my experience in china. if you haven't ever experienced anything like that, it is hard to relate, but let me tell you that china was awesome. i miss the kids more than i ever thought i would. and apparently i miss china as well because i cried as soon as i started talking about it. obviously china made me very emotional. embarrassing, but true. i get teary eyed over the weirdest things. oh well. i'm not even mad.

well. i hope that just about catches you up on my life as an unemployed, almost 21 year old, living in utah county. pretty exciting i know. i hope the past month has kept you all happy and healthy and swine-flu less. until next time.
peace and love.
xo.

end.

so here's the deal. just after my last post, the chinese government went crazy and decided to go ahead and block a ton of websites. including blogger and sometimes anything associated with google. because of this extremely inconvenient ordeal i wasn't able to access my blog, and thus; was not able to post anything about what went down my last couple months in china.

over the past two months i:

saw the misty mountains of yangshuo.


had the most awesome birthday party for hannah. fireworks included.


met some new friends.


took class pictures.


got my fortune told. it was a good one.


dressed our kids up and watched them graduate.



had the most awesome pool party.

and then we said goodbye. it was hard to leave but i am happy to be home.

let me just sum up by saying that: I LOVE CHINA. it was one of the most life changing experiences i have ever had. i grew so much while i was there and i miss it very much. i have a greater appreciation for all of my worldly possessions and an even greater love for my family. i am so blessed to have such a wonderful family that loves and cares about me. i missed them all so much while i was away and i am so happy to be home with them. i love you family. you're the best!

it won't be long.

well.
it's been a while since i've posted something. there is really no excuse for it except that i have been feeling terribly overwhelmed lately. not in a bad or good way. i just have and as things move slowly back to normal, i feel like i can breathe.
let me catch you up on what has been going on in china.

1. i rode my first sleeper train. it was much more comfortable than the seat i had when we went to sanya. i don't know why they don't have such comfy transportation in america. i mean, i'm sure they do, but i think most people choose the alternative and get to their destination in a couple of hours rather than a couple of days. but, if sleeper trains ever become available, i'll be one of the first people in line for a ticket. where will i go, you ask? that, has yet to be determined.

2. i climbed the great wall of china. and when i say 'the great wall of china,' i mean the actual great wall. not that rebuilt garb that you see on tv and tourist photos. it was the actual-crumbling-under-my-feet great wall of china. it was awesome. by far, one of the coolest things i have done in my life, as well as one of the most exhausting. scaling the straight up cliffs of the great wall is something i won't ever forget. if you ever go to beijing, simitai will be your favorite place to be.

3. i got lost in one of the biggest cities in the world. that city being beijing, china. yeah, it's true. and me, being super travel savvy, never saw getting lost as an option. i thought that maybe if we just walked around we would be able to find our way, or at least find someone that spoke english. oh man! i was way off. there was no way of finding which way to go, because, strangely, everything was in chinese and everyone within a 2 mile radius of us could only speak chinese. but, as it turns out, we weren't exactly lost, the train station we were at wasn't the one we were supposed to be at. it's a long story, but no worries, we made it to the correct train station, found our way, and all is well. but let me warn you, if you ever get lost in beijing. stay where you are. walking around only makes things worse, and makes you really tired. and cranky. hug a tree. or an asian.

4. i got kicked out of a taxi, by a very angry taxi driver. you see, a bunch of us (ilp teachers) got together in beijing and went to the hard rock cafe for dinner. well, we had 9 people, and you can only fit 4 in a taxi, but when the taxi driver started driving, he was distracted and didn't realize that there were 5 passengers in the car. he started yelling really loud, in chinese of course, and getting really upset and pulled the car over and made us all get out. AND made us pay 10 yuan for the ride. well, things got worse from there, when we couldn't get any taxi's to stop for us. i think the guy that kicked us out, radioed all his friends in the area and told them not to pick up the 5 american girls walking down the street. it was a pretty scary experience walking down the streets of beijing, with no idea of which way to go and no one around to help us. but, again, we finally got someone to help us and made it to our destination safe and sound.

5. i spent more money in 3 days than i ever thought was possible. but don't worry, it's a good thing. and no, i didn't spend all the money on myself. i'm not selfish.

6. i felt really homesick for the first time since i have been in china. of course, there have been times when i've felt a little tired of being in china, but i have never felt physically sick and felt the need to go home. the day we got home from beijing was the first day of my homesickness. i'm still feeling the affects of it, but i'm still here. i feel so helpless, but all is well. i'm doing what i can, with what i have. and pretending to be in two places at once.

7. i payed my respects to the man who single-handedly ruined china's hope for becoming an independent nation. the man who brought the people up, but tore everything out from under them. the man that brainwashed the chinese into thinking that he was helping them, but in reality he was ruining their lives, one poor decision after another. let me just say that chairman mao, was the most self involved, self loving man and seeing the giant portrait of him at tien an men square and all the people bowing and worshiping him, made me feel very uneasy.

alrightl. i suppose that is the jist of what has been going on with me.
until next time.
peace and love. from the chiner.