i talked on the phone, for longer than i should have. i should have let him go. and not talked for so long. but i couldn't say goodbye. at least not yet. it wasn't time. and really, it wasn't goodbye. i have already said goodbye. this was just a "talk to you later." because i will. talk to him later. and then later after that, and after that, he will be here. next to me. and there will be no need to say goodbye.
there are times when i wish he was here with me. but i know he is where he should be. i know he is doing what he should be doing. and more importantly, he is where the Lord needs him to be. there are days and years and decades to come. but these two years he is away are not about him, or me, or his family. they are about the Lord, and His people. i don't know how i got so lucky to have a man like him in my life. i have been blessed beyond imagination.
it was better than i had imagined it would be. i was so nervous, but as soon as i picked up the phone and heard him say my name, i knew there was no reason to be.
we talked about everything that came into our minds. even the things that are complete nonsense and don't have any importance at all. but every moment was something i will never forget. to hear him talk and know that he is the same person that i said goodbye to four and a half months ago. to know that he is going to be the same person when he comes back. just a little bit wiser and little bit older.
it was so refreshing. to hear his voice and to hear his laughter. he is changing. not only the lives of the people he meets, but he is growing up. and i am here, trying to grow up, and not having any real affect on anyone. i want to be a person that changes lives. that feels a change and sees a change come about because of my example. it is a truly extraordinary thing, and beyond rewarding. to give someone the gift of eternal life. that, is truly remarkable.
he is a blessing. not only to me, but to so many other people. he is hundreds of miles away. but really, he is here, with me. i can feel him. he is here. he is there. he is everywhere. he laughed when i laughed. he smiled when i smiled. he knows how i feel. i know how he feels. and together we are going to conquer the world.